I am finding it more and more difficult to relate when there is a wall of unresolved grief and pain that surrounds us and prevents us from experiencing togetherness at the level my soul reaches out to. I know my healing is not complete by any means but I have focused on healing many aspects of myself and continue to inner track my hurts, pains and discomforts. I am feeling unfulfilled in what I'm responsible for. I really feel like there is a huge turning point at the soul level within myself. My question is - Do we expect so much change out of someone that it can be concluded that we weren't happy with what we fell in love with in the first place?
We have sometimes been known to feel as if our partners would develop into someone we perceive as being perfect for us over time.
Well, that means that we began the relationship from a place of non acceptance to start with - seeing them as not OK where they were and wanting them to be something else - like always wanting the moment that is to be different. So, how perfect is that? Having this issue is perfect for us, because that is what our soul has chosen to explore in this life?
If we can't see it this way, that is, being in the Now - being at Peace and seeing the perfection in all that is... That may be why we experience distress. If we have not yet developed a high level of being able to accept the moment as the perfection it is, we will be stressed out, discontent, and not at peace within ourselves. It's like putting on "Nothing is OK and it's all WRONG" glasses, and then looking out at the world through them. You know how that feels, right? Like you're standing on quicksand. But what you're really feeling deep inside is that YOU are "wrong" or not OK, and what happens then is that you will project that sense of things "being wrong' onto everything and everyone else. Right?
What would it feel like to put on glasses that saw all the beauty and perfection in the world - that saw the infinite journey we are all on? What would it feel like if you saw with infinite eyes that knew that it's all about taking the wisdom and richness out of every experience, every moment you have, and integrating that knowledge into your being, like squeezing a drop of dew from a plant leaf into your mouth and savoring it. How would THAT feel? And then you move on to the next moment to do the same thing with it.
If you can see life this way, from infinite abundance rather then from lack, from the richness of every moment you are in, no matter what it is, WITHOUT MAKING IT WRONG OR HAVING AN EXPECTATION OF WHAT IT 'SHOULD' BE - then every time you look at your partner, you would see the incredible journey their soul is on - you'd see what they are doing that is purely miraculous as they go about living their life. Even if the journey looks different from your own. Life is made up of an infinite variety of things and moments - and life embraces them all - all of it makes life what it is. Nothing is rejected, true? Life isn't made to just feel or look one way - every one's journey is a unique, amazing thing, with its own timing and choices and connectedness to life.
Right now we are needing our partner to be a certain way to fill up OUR life and give us the feelings and experiences we value and like to feel. It's not up to them to do that. It's up to us to value those things and give them to ourselves. Then we HAVE them, filled up with ourselves and what we love, and no one else has to try to give it to us. We must let go of any part of us that sees ourselves as lacking or not able to feel or experience or have what feels good to us: which means accepting ourselves and what we desire- accepting it as being 100% good and wonderful.
All that we can do is do what feels right to us, and live our own journey with passion and delight and not let anyone else dictate to us what our journey or desires or path "should" be. If we let others do that, chances are that WE do that to others as well - i.e., your partner - wanting them to change, not accepting them, wanting them to be what you are actually wanting YOURSELF to be. If you see them as sorrowful and with dislike, then chances are that is not healed within yourself, and you see it in them and are uncomfortable - wanting them to "GET OUT OF IT!" But, it's your own pain you are uncomfortable with. I was told to "Embrace it. Be patient and kind to yourself. Let it be what it is. Just observe it without judgment, and it will pass, as all things do, in its own time."
If a person is meant to continue on your journey with you, when you make a dramatic change, that person will as well. If they don't, then the flow of life will naturally end your travels together because you won't be vibrating along similar patterns and the roads you both naturally take will separate. Each soul will take the road that matches their vibration. If we put out that intention and thought, that whatever is in the Highest Good is the only thing that can happen - if we don't trust in that process - and focus on our own transformation, it will all be perfect, as it only can be. Right? Right. Don't think you have to force or push the process. Or worry it. Or judge it. All we need to do is allow our own transformation and embrace ourselves and our journey. This doesn't mean only think of yourself, more so how you can be better for the one(s) you want around you. Then we can just enjoy and delight in what we see. It's all about how we choose to view things...
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